Today’s workout: 20 minutes on ET, Level 1. (Took it easy as my back, which I sprained last year, is acting up.) 40 minutes weights, abs, and focus on back stretching with trainer.

Today’s walk: To and from an appointment, 15 mins total.

I’ve been planning my meals and keeping my eating diary as described in the Day 15 post, but did not do any BDS tasks. I’ve been slacking off on the program in general, slipping away from reading my Advantages or other Response Cards. I have mentally been answering back some sabotaging thoughts, but obviously some crept in that prevented me from posting yesterday. “Only eating while eating” has also fallen by the wayside.

This is the point where I got complacent last year and, as a result, stopped making progress. I’ve been in the same rut for over 2 years where I stay on SBD most of the time but not always, using some of my BDS skills but not others. Exercising when I “have to” see my trainer, but hardly ever in-between. These are the behaviors that stopped me from continuing to gain weight, but are not enough for me to lose it.

The sabotaging thoughts that caused this are insidious because they seem so benign. Some of them even contain a grain of truth, but in order to go all the way and transform my body into a slim, healthy one, I must change my way of thinking.

Day 16 coming tomorrow.

Sabotaging thoughts:

• I don’t have time to read my Advantages list right now. I’ll do it later.

• I eat what I’m supposed to most of the time. It’s OK if I treat myself to Thai food or wine once in a while.  [Note: which means I treat myself once a day!]

I work out with my trainer twice a week. That’s enough exercise. If I get too busy and don’t do anything else in-between, I’m still golden.

• I feel great, so much taller and stronger than before I started exercising. So what if I don’t lose any weight?

• It’s OK if I skip a day on my blog. Other BDS bloggers have taken more than 42 days to complete the program. My readers will forgive me.

• I’ve already learned the skills I need from the BDS book. The rest don’t apply to me.

• Wine isn’t fattening. It even has health benefits. For 100 calories, I can get more pleasure from a glass of wine than 100 calories worth of food. [Note: Yeah, so I drink multiple glasses of wine a night.]

• This meal is perfectly on my plan. It’s OK if I eat it in front of the computer.

OY! Do you see what I’m dealing with? Sneaky, insidious sabotaging thoughts. Somewhere inside me, I believe these things to be true, and I need to change these thoughts and banish these beliefs.

I don’t have responses to these thoughts yet, but I’ll work on it.

Today’s To-D0 List:

✓ I did planned exercise

✓ I did spontaneous exercise

✓ I monitored my eating in writing

✓ I wrote down tomorrow’s meal plan

✗ I did other BDS checklist items ☹

Today I give myself credit for:

☆ Coming right back to my blog after missing a day.

☆ Doing spontaneous exercise despite a wonky schedule.

☆ Doing planned exercise despite my fear of worsening my back injury. [Note: I know from experience that sitting around and doing nothing is worse for my back. I hope I succeeded in exercising in such a way that I helped rather than hurt my back. If any of you reading this is injured, please be very careful when exercising.]

☆ Doing my credit list even though the “old me” would be beating myself up right now.

☆ Talking to my therapist about my experiences with cravings this weekend and another difficult situation in my life. [Note: As one of my diet coaches, my therapist knows about this blog, and I’m willing to share it with her. She just doesn’t get on the Web very much.]

☆ Identifying some of my most insidious sabotaging thoughts.