Today’s workout: 40 mins EFX Trainer, wt loss intervals, HR 115-125. Crossramp 4 – 10, Resistance 1 – 8.

Today’s walk: 1/4 mi walk on indoor track.

Today’s task: Change Your Definition of Full

My family and friends used to  marvel at how I stopped when I was full, when I was a child and teenager. Later, I learned how to allow more food, and then eat less later. And then, I stopped managing to eat less later. At my first job after college, I had a 30-minute lunch period, and no other eating was allowed in the office. I often had to work late, so I started eating something heavier to get me through. And forget eating slowly when  you only have 30 minutes to heat, eat, and clean up your food. Exhausted and starving at night, I’d have something big, usually Chinese food.

I started gaining weight after leaving that job, because I took those bad habits with me, and eventually my metabolism couldn’t take it any more.

Dr. Beck believes that overweight people are eating to the point of being overfull rather than normally full. Her criterion is being able to take a brisk walk after the meal. This is a good fit for me, since I’m usually the crazy one on Thanksgiving and Christmas trying to herd everyone out the door for a walk. (I have one SIL who never comes…but then she always pigs out on holidays. She’s very, very skinny, for the record.)

On the South Beach Diet, I get a certain amount of food at each meal and snack, and it’s usually just the right amount to satisfy me, especially since it’s mostly protein. But in the interest of testing Dr. Beck’s theory, I’m going to actually take a brisk walk after every meal and see how it feels. This routine will also get more movement into my day.

Dr. Beck is not a believer in intuitive eating, mainly because she’s never seen it work for any of her patients. But when you take this week’s exercises in hunger and fullness perception, her prescriptions line up exactly with those of the intuitive eating program Thin Within: Wait until you’re truly (even very) hungry before you eat, and then eat only to satisfaction.

Today’s To-Do List:

✓ I read my Advantages and NO CHOICE response cards at least twice today.

✓ I made and read other Response Cards as needed.

✓ I ate slowly, sitting down, and noticing every bite: Most of the time.

✓ I gave myself credit for engaging in helpful eating behaviors: Not often enough. See below.

✓ I did spontaneous exercise: Once.

✓ I did planned exercise: Yes.

✓ I wrote out a food plan for tomorrow.

✓ I monitored everything I ate in writing right after I finished eating.

✓ I ate only to normal fullness: Most of the time.

Today I give myself credit for:

☆ Continuing to resist ongoing cravings and desires.

☆ Going to the gym on my own 2 days in a row.

☆ Keeping my eating diary 8 days in a row.

☆ Sticking to my plan despite not having much food in the house.

Update: My mood has been crappy, and I’ve been very unwilling to follow my diet and exercise plan. I feel like I’m dragging myself kicking and screaming through the day. I think I’m a little depressed (but today’s exercise helped with that), but I’m finding more sabotaging thoughts that are causing the depression. For example, Dr. Beck frequently says, “Imagine how good you’ll feel after you [exercise, resist temptation, etc.]” I don’t feel good after doing these things. It’s more like, “Oh, great, you finally did what you should have been doing all along. Congrats. < /sarcasm>”

Although most sabotaging thoughts come before behavior, this one comes after it, and its goal is to demoralize. If I want to live a happier and healthier life, I have to answer back to this kind of sabotaging thought, too. And although CT doesn’t put much focus on talking about your past, these demoralizing thoughts come straight from my mother’s mouth. I love my mother insanely and don’t have any desire to change her. The world is a better place because she existed. I don’t want anything but to have the best possible relationship with her for the remainder of our lives together, but I do want to stop nurturing the unhelpful thoughts that she instilled in me.

Eating Diary Update: Dr. Beck says that you don’t have to start the day with a written plan and monitor it in writing forever. In her O Magazine article, she required a patient to do it for one full week. After that, I assume you can dial back to a more casual way of journaling/planning. Starting tomorrow, I will keep my paper eating diary to the letter according to The Beck Diet Solution for at least 7 days, or until I stop finding it helpful, but after that I will enter it in an online food journaling website that also counts calories. I think that will be more fun and motivating for me. I’m also curious to see what the SBD gives me in terms of calories. So far, I haven’t been counting.

This is going to be a challenge, since I have 2 days of business meetings this week, and even if I inquire in advance what food is going to be served (which I will do), it’s hard to predict exactly what’s going to be available. Wish me luck!