Another day of doing the best I can despite being out of my usual controlled environment and surrounded by temptation. I was able to get my salad before lunch, and I ate earlier than everyone else because I was hungry. Then when everyone’s order arrived, I was treated to seeing and smelling the giant burritos, chips, and salsa that everyone was digging into. My boss opened a bag of chips on the table right next to me. But I didn’t give in. After he was done eating, I folded the bag closed and moved it away. Later, I threw away the leftovers.

Yesterday’s pizza was still around. Cold pizza is one of my weaknesses. The old me would have definitely jumped at the chance. Luckily, the leftovers had been left out overnight at room temperature—not safe to eat. If the pizza had been refrigerated, it would have been a major temptation! At the end of the day, I took another peek in the pizza box—my coworkers had almost polished off the leftover pizza. Egads!

After it was all over, I caved. On the way home, I stopped at my favorite restaurant and had a fried chicken wing appetizer (6 small pieces), and white zinfandel. It’s what I call “relief eating”! I was exhausted from 2 long days of meetings, and a very poor sleep the night before. My resolve was at a low. I guess my sabotaging thoughts were something like, “I deserve a treat. I can’t be expected to be perfect tonight.” Talk about fooling myself! I even had myself convinced I was too tired to write down my meal plan for today!

I would have been a rock star if I had resisted last night! Guess I’ll have to be a rock star another time.

Somewhere (and I can’t find it in this book), Dr. Beck says that you have to watch for sabotaging thoughts after a challenging food event, not just during it. Guilty as charged! I’ll be “good” at a party, on vacation, or whatever, and then eat when I get home. The sabotaging thought is, “Whew, I made it! Now it’s safe to eat.”

But it really isn’t. Unplanned food is unplanned food, at home or abroad.

On the other hand, I didn’t go on to pig out the rest of the night. Just a bite of cheese when DH was having some. I credit the fact that I managed to eat lots of protein in the earlier part of the day. Once I’ve had a high-protein breakfast, snack, and lunch, my hunger is pretty mellow for the rest of the day and night. (Studies show that it’s protein, not fiber or fat, that increases satiety and results in reduced caloric intake.)

This morning, I have an increased desire to eat but luckily, no real cravings. For the past 2 days, I’ve given my giving-in muscle the chance to do a couple of push-ups. But it ends here. RIGHT NOW is the most important time to get back on track.

And that just happens to be the topic of Day 20! More on that later.