What happened to Winkie?

As the old saying goes, life happened.

I came back to this blog today, and was surprised by a few things:

  1. It’s still 2010! Somehow, I thought I’d abandoned this blog for more than a year.
  2. WowI kept it up for 19 days! Pretty good, considering how busy I was.
  3. I didn’t recognize what I wrote. I kept thinking, someone did a good job on this blog. That someone was me!

My main reason for not coming back was work. I had been spending so much time on the blog, I was getting behind at work, and I had to get caught up.

Also, life really did happen. A week before vacation, I went to a doctor (not my usual one) for bronchitis. Technically, this doctor wasn’t taking new patients and was about to go home, but it’s amazing how quickly a doctor’s office responds when you call during H1N1 season and tell them that you’ve been coughing for 6 weeks. In addition to the bronchitis, we discussed my weight and blood pressure. This doctor was the first to suggest something besides overeating for my physical condition. I left with antibiotics, blood pressure medication, and an assignment to look into Cushing syndrome and polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Which forced me to face up to something. Once I started losing weight, I began to notice a hard mass in my abdomen. I hadn’t been able to feel it when I was at my heaviest. Time to find a GYN. I went into my vacation with my parents and brother’s family with a diagnosis of uterine fibroids (so, not Cushing or PCOS) and the knowledge that abdominal surgery was in my future.

During the vacation, I also found out that my parents were selling their beautiful waterfront condo and moving to be closer to kids and grandkid. Not thinking about it or planning for it—doing it. Like in a few weeks.

Fast-forward to June. I’m in the hospital recovering from the first surgery of my life, and my parents have been living in their new little retirement-village apartment for a month. The day I was rolled out the hospital, my mother was rolled in—for reaction to a medication which thankfully had no lasting repercussions. Can you tell this has been an eventful year in my family?

Since then, I’ve been adjusting to all of the changes, keeping up with work and life…and now, needing to focus on my weight again. My trainer scolded me the other day. She said she had expected the surgery and the resulting weight loss to “catapult” me into continuing to drop weight. If I had lost 5 pounds each month since then, I would have lost 25 lbs by now. “You have to put a stake in the ground,” she said.

She’s right. I lost about 7 lbs during and after the surgery, but put them back on over the summer. Since I started to train 3 years ago, I’m about 10 lbs down from my top weight, while being infinitely more fit than I was then. I’m up to exercising 5 days a week, and I’m one of the strongest women I know. For all of that, I give myself credit.

I currently think of myself as a fit person on the inside, with a big fat layer on the outside.

Since I’ve already written a lot about each task, I’m going to borrow from that material as applicable. But things will be different:

  1. I will post my weight and body fat percentage, as well as my daily menus, which I didn’t do last time.
  2. I won’t write as much about each task. More focus on doing the tasks—and losing the weight—than on creating a nifty blog.

I think the reason I didn’t lost much weight last time is that I wasn’t committed, deep-down, to weight loss. It was about doing the perfect blog and getting to meet Dr. Beck someday. This time, it’s not a dress rehearsal, a project, or an experiment. This time, it’s for real. I’m seeing it through.

And…I will get to meet Dr. Beck! More on that later!

Advertisements